


gods and greyhound

by plumesvertes



Category: Fate/Zero
Genre: Banter, Lap Sitting, M/M, Post-Fate/Zero, UST
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:21:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28557534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plumesvertes/pseuds/plumesvertes
Summary: Gilgamesh sits on Kirei's lap in a bus. Kirei gets very introspective about it because he's Kirei. Gilgamesh gets very horny about it because he's Gilgamesh.
Relationships: Gilgamesh | Archer/Kotomine Kirei
Comments: 8
Kudos: 26





	gods and greyhound

**Author's Note:**

> My friend suggested I write a fic where Gilgamesh sits on Kirei's lap and I was like "hm yes but how do I do that" and then I had a dream about writing this exact fic. So I wrote it.
> 
> Title is (slightly modified) from 'Thank God and Greyhound' by Roy Clark.

“It appears the bus is full, Kirei.”

He knew Gilgamesh well enough to recognize that this was not merely a statement of fact. Gilgamesh wasted his breath on many things, but asinine, fairly obvious remarks were not one of them. It was crowded as usual, but there was ample room to stand. 

Kirei had already taken the last seat, so he stood up with the intent of relinquishing it to his servant, but Gilgamesh put a hand on Kirei’s shoulder to stop him. 

“No need to get up. Your lap will suffice.”

There it was, the object of this particular challenge. Kirei knew his servant was purposely testing him, but calling him on it would only play into Gilgamesh’s aim to get a rise out of him. “I would rather stand,” he said, understanding that Gilgamesh already knew this and would ignore it. 

“Nonsense,” Gilgamesh chastised, sliding into Kirei’s lap before he could protest. 

Kirei sighed, a perfunctory acknowledgement of Gilgamesh’s irksome behavior rather than a genuine expression of annoyance. The golden king’s weight on his lap didn’t bother him, but Kirei supposed it should - he knew it didn’t matter, not in the short term nor in the grander sense, but there was no justification for him tolerating this sort of behavior from his servant. And yet, it had become a common occurrence since the end of the fourth Grail War. Gilgamesh did as he pleased, and Kirei was not such a fool that he thought that his status as a master would give him any real power to control his servant’s actions, but it was only because he put up no real effort to stop it that Gilgamesh continued to test his boundaries. 

Kirei turned toward the window so he wasn’t staring directly at the back of Gilgamesh’s head. The passenger to the left of them in the window seat glanced up to meet his eyes, dissatisfaction apparent on her face, before turning her eyes back down to her phone. Kirei didn’t care what she thought, mostly because he cared about very few things, but it occurred to him that there was a time when he also would have disapproved.

“Enjoying the view?” Gilgamesh asked.

If there was one thing he and Gilgamesh shared, it was their disdain for this dreadful city, but Kirei knew he was referring to something else. Either way, his answer was the same. “You know better than anyone that I’ve little capacity for enjoyment. Why would you expect me to?” 

“I thought we were making progress in your journey to discover your desires. It’s a pity you can’t even enjoy the result of your own wish.” 

The result he spoke of was twofold - the Fuyuki fire, and the body Gilgamesh had been granted by the Grail. Although the effects of the former were noticeable even in their current location - the neon orange blurs of construction signs they drove by, and the ash that lingered and filled the air with an acrid tang - it was obviously the effects of the latter that Gilgamesh wanted him to notice. “Perhaps you’ve been neglecting my instruction,” Kirei replied.

Gilgamesh’s shoulders shook with laughter, causing wisps of his hair to brush against Kirei’s face. His hair smelled like the rosemary-and-peppermint shampoo that Gilgamesh insisted Kirei buy for him, a contrast to the smoky smell that anyone else would have described as pleasant. “Well, well, it sounds like you need an impromptu lesson!” Gilgamesh adjusted his position so his backside was flush against Kirei’s chest. He briefly mulled it over, then said, “The Grail granted me fluency in both Japanese and English. I understand your given name, ‘Kirei’, means ‘beautiful’.”

“That’s correct.”

“Quite ironic, considering your nature. But that raises the question: what do you find beautiful?” 

This was something he’d pondered before, and a subject he and Gilgamesh had touched on in previous discussions, so Kirei took a minute to reflect. He could recognize aesthetic beauty in art, architecture, and natural landscapes, as well as objective physical attractiveness in people, even though neither one usually had a significant effect on him. Kirei’s tastes had always been inclined toward that which most people considered grotesque, twisted, and morbid - not because he found those qualities themselves beautiful, although that was partially true, but more so because he thought the lack of traditional beauty itself was worth appreciating. 

His servant was classically beautiful - Kirei knew it, and he knew that Gilgamesh wanted him to know it, but he wasn’t sure how he felt about it himself. If it were any other person, Kirei wouldn’t care, but something about Gilgamesh affected him - emotionally, mentally, physically - in a way he hadn’t experienced before. Gilgamesh was a debauched, wicked man, and that appealed to Kirei’s perverse tastes. He was also the first person, besides perhaps Claudia, who asked Kirei’s opinion instead of treating him as a means to an end, who Kirei actually wanted to spend time with, whose touch didn’t make him uncomfortable. So was Gilgamesh an exception to Kirei’s rule? Did Kirei find him beautiful, or attractive, alluring, any of those words that Kirei had never used to describe his feelings toward another person - and did he feel that personally, and not just because he thought he should, or because Gilgamesh wanted him to?

Kirei’s mind was forced back to the present when Gilgamesh shifted impatiently in his lap. He didn’t quite have an answer yet, but getting lost in his thoughts wasn’t bringing him closer to one. “I suppose...I would call the scene we created with Kariya beautiful. You were correct in suggesting I pursue my interest in him.” He paused to consider his next words. “The destruction that resulted from the Grail appeals to my sense of beauty, but you already know that.” 

“Of course,” Gilgamesh nodded. “You were ravished with joy that night. It was quite the sight to witness.”

“The entire scene was grand to behold,” Kirei concurred. It was true, although it revealed nothing of importance. “The sheer scale of the destruction, and the fire itself, were both impressive sights.” 

“Indeed they were. The destruction the Grail caused was magnificent. Although, it’s equally important to acknowledge the splendor of its _creative_ power, don’t you think?”

Gilgamesh was unsubtle in both his appreciation of his new form and in how he wanted Kirei to respond to it. “I agree,” Kirei said, deciding to let this conversation arrive at the topic to which Gilgamesh was clearly trying to lead it. His servant didn’t respond, waiting for Kirei to elaborate. “The Grail did a fine job of crafting you a physical incarnation befitting of your power and status. Dare I say, it even improves on your spirit form.” 

“No need to apologize for the compliment,” Gilgamesh purred, susceptible as always to transparently disingenuous flattery. He turned his head so that he was facing Kirei as fully as he could in his position. Their faces were near enough that Kirei could feel Gilgamesh’s breath as he spoke. “I could tell you thought so. The night of the fire, you couldn’t take your eyes off me, even with the city in ruins around us.”

Gilgamesh’s smirk made it clear that he was teasing, but Kirei couldn’t resist rolling his eyes. Even so, Kirei did have a clear memory of Gilgamesh’s nude body against the backdrop of smoke and rubble. It looked ludicrous, and he had no reason to be naked other than exhibitionist theatrics, but...it was so very _Gilgamesh_ , and it was only because of Gilgamesh’s absurd nature that Kirei had gotten as far as he did. That night was the first time Kirei acknowledged his true nature. He had revelled in the devastation, and in the fact that he no longer had to pretend, because there was no one left that he needed to pretend for. 

Something must have changed in his expression, because Gilgamesh chuckled. They were close enough that Kirei felt the vibrations in his chest.

“Are you blushing, Kirei?” Gilgamesh goaded. “I can feel the heat of your face without even touching it.”

“No. You are sitting on top of me and are breathing directly into my face, so the physics of heat unfortunately dictate that your presence will cause the surface temperature of my body to increase.” 

“Hmph, how boring. I suppose I’ll try to elicit another type of physical reaction from you,” Gilgamesh hummed. Kirei wasn’t sure what he meant by that, but Gilgamesh didn’t explain further, and he chose not to ask. 

The conversation had reached a natural stopping point, so they rode in silence for several minutes, Gilgamesh adjusting his position each time the bus would bobble and dislodge him. Without really considering what he was doing, Kirei put his hands on Gilgamesh’s waist.

It was an unconscious, natural reaction to stop Gilgamesh’s squirming, and Kirei was tired of affixing his hands to the armrests to avoid touching him. Still, he wasn’t the type of person who initiated or derived comfort from physical contact. That was Gilgamesh’s domain. Was this the reaction Gilgamesh had said he intended to provoke out of him, or was this entirely Kirei’s own idea? His hands felt alien resting against the other man’s waist, but that wasn’t anything new. Kirei had a masterful command of his body due to over a decade of training, but that didn’t change whatever fundamental flaw made his own body feel _wrong_. He’d starved, punished, and mutilated himself in hope that suffering would help him make peace with it. Nothing had helped.

But with Gilgamesh in Kirei’s lap like this, Kirei’s arms resting against him, it was almost...comforting. Pleasant. Gilgamesh had made advances on Kirei before, and his reactions had ranged from shutting them down completely to letting Gilgamesh take proceedings as far as he could without Kirei’s active participation. Now he was realizing that even the slightest interest was reason enough to respond to Gilgamesh’s intimations and see where they lead - and perhaps his interest was more than slight, anyway. He didn’t have anything to lose. There were very few things in his life that Kirei would classify as positive, and Gilgamesh was responsible for most of them. Maybe this - whatever it was that they were doing right now, whatever was developing between them - could be part of that.

The bus stopped at the base of the hill. “This is where we leave,” Kirei said. Gilgamesh waited until all the passengers in front of them had deboarded to get up. 

“It appears our lesson is at an end.” Gilgamesh reached his hand out to Kirei, who was still seated. “Did you find my teaching satisfactory?”

Kirei took his hand and stood. “I did,” he answered, then pulled Gilgamesh toward him. He slid his free hand around Gilgamesh’s back. “But I still have much to learn. We should continue back at the Church.”

The bus driver yelled something at them that sounded impatient. Gilgamesh grinned, clasping his master’s hand as he pulled him eagerly toward the exit. “Well, Kirei, it sounds like we should get off.” 

**Author's Note:**

> I almost ended this fic with them stopping off at an IKEA, but then I decided they should go home and bang (probably?? honestly idk what these two get up to). Although, maybe [they go to IKEA some other time...](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23870974/chapters/57379948)


End file.
